This is called the "spotlight effect." Under imaginary spotlights, many of us suffer major confidence loss. You will soon realise that the worst consequences of living in the spotlight are less oppressive than the best advantages of hiding in the shadows.
Even if you have oodles of confidence, try to implement some of these habits. You just might end up feeling even better about yourself than you ever thought possible.
"Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”
Peter T. Mcintyre
1. Overcome your fears.Rehearse the fearful situation in your head and mentally walk your way up to the point where you feel the fear most intensely. Next, shift to something calming (a beach at sunset) and as you do a mental run-through, breathe out, physically relaxing your body. Then imagine yourself going through the motions flawlessly while your body and mind are relaxed. In essence, you're conditioning your mind to replace fear with success."--Picabo Street, Olympic skiing champion
2. Ask yourself the Universal Question. "So?"
In other words...really, who cares? Here are some instances where the Universal Question might help you break through imprisoning inhibitions:
“If I voice my opinion during a meeting, my colleagues are going to disagree with me”
So?
"If I forget what to say next during a presentation, people are going to think I am stupid."
So?
“If I disagree with my friend on an issue,
she is going to dislike me.”
So?
Use the universal question every time you feel yourself hesitating to do something that might impact on decreasing your confidence. 3. Calm yourself.
Get rid of nervous energy. Walk around the office block or car park. Then get focused. Find a quiet spot to be alone and take a few breaths before you walk into the meeting room. Then take a slow, relaxing breath once you've entered and taken your place in front of everyone. Then smile. People buy things from and listen to people who smile at them.
4. Start Each Day Ready for Action. How does your day pan out when you get up late and head out of the door in a manic rush? Confident people love life so much that they don’t want to waste a minute of it. Start your day “on the front foot,” that is, ready and prepared and you won’t waste the rest of the day trying to catch up with yourself.
5. Work the room.
"You first must learn to overcome mingle-phobia. Psych yourself up to enter a room. Then make your move. If you don't know anyone, walk up to a group, smile widely, introduce yourself and say: 'I don't know a soul at this party. May I join you guys?' This usually gets a warm, sympathetic reception, and people start chatting with you immediately." --Jeanne Martinet, author of The Art of Mingling.
6. Don't be intimidated.
You are meeting with someone that intimidates you-be the first person to say something so that the conversation is in your control. Don't say anything competitive or defensive; instead, ask something personal like “How is your family?” “How did you enjoy your holiday?” Be sincere and it will probably throw off the other person's power-tripping ways.
“Confidence comes not from always being right
but from not fearing to be wrong”
Peter T. Mcintyre
7. Track Your Moods and Emotions.
How are you today emotionally? Confident people have a high level of emotional awareness — they stay in tune with how they’re feeling and the effect they have on other people. Do a stock check during the day. When do you feel confident and when not? What are the telltale signals in your body? Do you convey it by the tone of your voice or your body language? By tracking your moods, you have a measure of where you are at in case you need to refine the direction.
8. Wear your best attitude shades.
Every day you do put on a pair of “attitude” sunglasses. They act as a filter through which you perceive the world. Be aware of what type of filter you have chosen-is it positive or negative? By choosing your attitude for the day, you decide if it is going to be a day that is full of interesting experiences, or one of constant battles to be fought. Your experience begins in your own head.
9. Have a Great Self-ImageRemember the day when you were feeling really low? You chose clothes that were fitting to your dark mood. You looked in the mirror and you thought…”how awful…, ugly…, fat… I look “. Your self-confidence hit rock bottom. At the same time when you feel good, you want to look good and hence you ooze more confidence. The secret to looking good? Healthy eating, exercise and plenty sleep! Of course a good image consultant can also help you choose some great confidence outfits.
10. Operate from a Position of Generosity
Confident people act from a position of generosity and abundance. They give what they can, when they can — whether it’s their time, talent, money, energy, or love. Generous thoughts nurture your mind and attract generous people to you.
11. Review Today and Create Your Tomorrow
At the end of each day, mentally review what happened and how you experienced it. Every night before you turn out the light, write down the five most important things you want to do tomorrow. In the morning, before you get out of bed, take your list and decide how you to fit the tasks and activities into your day. If it looks a tight fit, start with the most important and leave out the least important. In accepting that you are responsible for your journey, you will find more clarity and freedom, and thus confidence to be yourself and do what is right for you. Make sure that what you are doing daily is striving towards fulfilling your life’s purpose. This way you will move forward being your most confident self.
“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced”
Vincent Van Gogh
Professional Impressions would like to credit the following:
- The 10 habits of highly confident people By Tad Simons
- How to Free Yourself from the Glare-Martha Beck
- Confidence by Rosabeth Moss Kanter
- The 10 Habits of Confident Women from Mary K. Moore & Rose Martelli
- Timeless Lessons-10 Killer, Daily Habits to Boost Your Confidence
- Weekender 7th Feb 2009
- www.zoopy.com
- www.iafrica.com
- Getty Images
- BizCommunity.com Proudly South African fashion livens up the red carpet by Vivian Warby, The Star on February 07, 2009
- Photo: Mandisi Tyulu, Bush Radio
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