The Superwoman Fantasy.

The Superwoman Fantasy Are you one of the many working women who talks to clients, whilst picking up the kids or schedules meetings, whilst buying groceries? You’ve probably realised this "work-family balance thing" is a contradiction. “Don’t try to juggle. Don’t try to balance. Rather, let the fantasy of the Superwoman die.” Realistically, we know that we can’t juggle career, family, friends, gym time, absolute success and perfect bliss, whilst also being perfectly groomed. A nagging, internal voice may be asking, why not? Some women can do it. If I can’t, what does that say about me? It says you are a human being, not a human doing! Remember, you can bake a cake, market a cake, serve a cake or eat a cake--but not all at once. The Superwoman Symptoms Psychologists are finding that Superwomen often experience the following symptoms (tick the ones that apply to you): feelings of guilt, worthlessness insomnia loss of sex drive extremes in weight gain/weight loss chronic fatigue feelings of inadequacy & failure irritability anxiety Who is most likely to suffer from the "Superwoman Syndrome"? (tick the ones that apply to you): a high achiever by nature may have experienced high responsibility from a young age high expectations about her ability to perform and succeed “feeds” on people praising her abilities to be the superwoman often complains of her overextended schedule has difficulty in saying no over analyses and worries constantly has a hard time relaxing tries to be everything to everyone has difficulty in asking for help Sound familiar? It does to me... Meet the New Breed There is a “New Breed” of business women. These women acknowledge the compromises they made in their personal and professional lives. These female superstars (started by top Silicon Valley execs) know their options. Instead of trying to have it all (like the superwoman model that emerged from the ‘70s women’s movement) they are focusing on what makes them satisfied. These women are choosy, once they make a decision, they don’t look back. They let things go, and throw all their passion and energy into the path they decided to follow. They can come back to other interests later on. Baskin and Kauffman call this pattern of behaviour “sequencing.” It can also be seen as “liberating”. "Sequencing," is doing things that are exciting or interesting to us, but not all at once. It is not attempting to perfect the juggling act. Instead, it’s concentrating on juggling one task at a time, and doing it really well. Fulfilment = Success. In this Opt Out Revolution, achievement is measured as peace of mind, instead of a salary. The Road to a Cure Define Your Limits and compromise. Ask yourself honestly “What am I really capable of doing well right now?” Put pen to paper and create columns of what is really important and what is not. Recognize that you cannot have it all or be all, certainly not at the same time. Focus on one thing for a while. Do it well. Throw yourself into it and enjoy it. When you are ready, revisit that decision and see if you want to make a change. Be comfortable with saying “No”. Stop being a people-pleaser. You will end up overwhelmed and resentful. By saying no, you end the cycle of doing more and gaining less. Create a back up before you need it. Build support structures, safety nets. This allows you to work when kids are sick, or deal with client emergencies. Delegate without guilt. People around you have become used to the fact that you simply want to do it all yourself. Announce that this has changed and delegate. Take mini-breaks through the year. Buy a non-refundable air ticket to go somewhere by at least April each year. Indulge in the 4 pillars of health - regular exercise, good nutrition (limit caffeine & sugar), proper sleep and relaxation. Realise you are a Human Being not a Human Doing. Know that being imperfect is human. You don’t need to constantly struggle and not feel ahead of the game. Don’t expect every area of your life to change overnight. Small changes in your daily habits and mindset can lead to big improvements in the long run. “Being a woman is a marathon not a sprint”. Anon

Need to motivate, inspire and reward yourself and your female colleagues, clients? “The Superwoman Syndrome” is a fun filled, interactive, inspirational workshop for the woman, who is trying to deal with her multi–faceted roles, whilst maintaining her sanity! We will provide you with tools and strategies for coping with today's harsh realities. Contact us to book your date-don’t leave it till it’s too late! Tel: 011 469 1396 Email: info@profimpressions.co.za www.profimpressions.co.za

Professional Impressions would like to credit the following for information and images used in this article: Superwoman syndrome –Aidan Machonachy Leading Under Pressure: Strategies to Maximize Peak Performance & Productivity While Maximizing Health & Wellbeing-Dr. Gabriela Cora Hey, Superwoman: Learn how to take a break-Joanna L. Krotz Corporate Catalysts: How to Make Your Company More Successful -Dan Coughlin Chicago Tribune - Amanda Long Beyond Superwoman - Karin Strasser Kauffman and Peggy Downes Baskin. In search of the new breed of Superwomen-LISA CRAWFORD WATSON Your Baby - May 2008 True Love - October 2005 Elle - May 2008

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